March 23, 2009

god,please give me strength..please… i really dun wanna break down… i really dun =(…

trust

i noe i cant trust u much anymore..

that’s y its like this..

i really have bad trust issues =(..im sorry..

footprint

have u ever wondered whether people will appreciate your hardwork or will it just die in vain?

Whether people actually notice you put your heart and soul in it …with sincerity..if u do it by the sidelines?

Well true enough when you do it with sincerity..you wouldnt even think you would want someone to notice wat u did…but u noe maybe sometimes u do need to noe whether its worth all the effort in the end..

u gave it ur best..u took the risk…u gone tru lots of things..to think that he would appreaciate you and actually remmber ..

well its funny how people can just forget this very fast quite often..i do haf to admit i do too sometimes..

one very simple example is when someone’s down you help them build their confidence back..but in the end they forget bout you..or treat you like you have never existed? well tht happens often..its still a wonder how much patience i haf to cope with thse kind of things..

esp one that moves on so easily..and u see them mingling around with their new ones without even a sense of guilt..well its not like im jealous..its just that is my footprint inside someone’s heart easily erased?

and no im not even toking bout the recent one..

its just that im really curious why my footprint can be easily removed..am i supposed to be taken for granted?

then one thing i notice from a fren today is how she thought that i would get my happily ever after ending the last time we met after tru all the hassles ive been tru with all the problems i haf to cope with..

still its the same ending all over again…

and again same conclusion is my footprint that easily to erased?

despite all the prayers i do every night to ensure they are safe and away from sickness..and do well in exams..then save up to get them something so that they would be warm and comfortable in the place so that u noe u try to ensure also u did somethin extra other than the prayers..coz without usaha also doa takkan menjadi kenyataan..

u realize u give a lot..

but u noe u never got enough back..

but u do realize also that if u do it with sincerity..

u shudnt be complaining..

yeah maybe to love sum1 is just to see him smile..while u keep the pain..coz its just more painful to see the other one hurt..

but u still cant seem to help it but wish he wod actually see how much u haf done for him..to realize that u r the one whose spending precious time taking care of him at the same time..

u are always in my prayers evry night..

that’s how much u mean to me..

but hey even saying this on and on wodnt change anything at all when he just doesnt see u..